Sithole Regional

In case you missed the earlier episodes:
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Bulltron Regional
Dragonwagon Regional

Sithole Regional, First Round:

1 Mario Hilario vs. 16 Eugene Heavy Runner: if I didn't already know a soccer player named Hilario, maybe we wouldn't have our second 1-16 upset of the tournament, but I do, and we do. Mario goes home and the Heavy Runner bounds into the Second Round.

8 Lovie Lilly vs. 9 Cetera DeGraffenreid: DeGraffenreid is another name that I feel like I would maybe get an inside joke on if I only understood some Germanic language (which I don't), but I don't really care for Lovie Lilly either. The weirdness advances over the blandness, and Lilly Lilly Lilly goes home.

5 Wisdom Bleboo vs. 12 Babu Chalamala: Babu!

4 Kyle Sackrider vs. 13 Oxide Pang: I almost spit up when I saw Kyle step onto the court. No contest.

3 Conceptualization Gibbs vs. 14 Anita Fiel: a vote Bart Simpson would be proud of. Anita Fiel, Round 2 is on the phone.

6 LeQuantum McDonald vs. 11 Jamarion Cavness: pretty evenly matched, but I'll give a little extra "e" for effort to LeQuantum for pseudo-scientific-ness.

7 Sa’Coby Carter vs. 10 Quantavius Sturdivant: not a big fan of the apo'strophied names, while I AM a fan of classical (and classical sounding) languages, so Quantavius Maximus gets a pass on to the next round.

2 Maserati Jemison vs. 15 Brett Bucktooth: I've said it before, I'll say it again: sometimes people shouldn't try so hard, it's unseemly. Maserati goes home and the Bucktooth Bandit pulls off an upset!


Second Round:
16 Eugene Heavy Runner vs. 9 Cetera DeGraffenreid: Heavy Runner keeps on to the Sweet 16.

12 Babu Chalamala vs. 4 Kyle Sackrider: I like thinking about Seinfeld randomly, but the Sackrider it is. Was there really ever any doubt between a Sackrider and thoughts of a long, shamefully waving finger?

14 Anita Fiel vs. 6 LeQuantum McDonald: I remember seeing early Simpsons shorts in an 80s animation festival before their series debut. Loved it then, sometimes still like it, and am definitely looking forward to the movie. That counts for a lot in contests like this.

10 Quantavius Sturdivant vs. 15 Brett Bucktooth: it would feel a little elitist to advance Brett, like assuming he could use a helping hand because he probably never even heard of modern dentistry back in Bucktooth Holler, so I'm giving a leg up to Quantavius instead.


Sweet Sixteen:

16 Eugene Heavy Runner vs. 4 Kyle Sackrider: the Runner is out of gas and goes back home.

14 Anita Fiel vs. 10 Quantavius Sturdivant: memories of (mostly) long-ago greatness will only get you so far, while pretensions can apparently float one on into the Elite 8.

Elite Eight:

4 Kyle Sackrider vs. 10 Quantavius Sturdivant: The upper seed wins out, my manliness is assured, and we have another member of the Final Four.

Next:
Chrotchtangle Regional
The Final Four