Chrotchtangle Regional

In case you missed the earlier episodes:
intro
ballot page
Bulltron Regional
Dragonwagon Regional
Sithole Regional


Chrotchtangle Regional, First Round:

1 Vanilla Dong vs. 16 Chanel Gemini: the Donger! The Gemini is just trying way, way too hard, yet ironically winds up totally outclassed.

8 Doris Morris vs. 9 Unique Grant: I guess it's kind of Unique, but not really that much when you look around at the competition. Somehow Doris Morris is unique here, so I'll take "Alliteration" for $600 please Alex.

5 Margharita Pigeon vs. 12 Bung Mac: I feel like maybe the 12-seed is some secret English or Aussie phrase I may understand if I travelled more than I do, so I'm sticking to form with the Margharita Pigeon prevailing on account of confusion.

4 De’Cody Fagg vs. 13 Chief Kickingstallionsims: another apo'strophool, and I'm wondering if this is the last year we'll see such a clichéed and potentially offensive representation of the Native Americansims tribe.

3 Gelo Orange vs. 14 Zhaneta Bozo: I like clowns, so it's another 14-3 upset!

6 Simpson Rushing vs. 11 Sasha Junk: I like history also, though admittedly I have some mixed feelings advancing Simpson to the next round, but in the end there's just not enough Junk.

7 Solomon HorseChief vs. 10 Demetria Crumbly: I'm not sure how to parse Solomon (the "Lawgiver") with HorseChief (maybe someone mixed their biblical action figures with their old Cowboy and Indian ones and was merely describing a tableau?), but however it works it moves on.

2 Thankful Vanderstar vs. 15 Ramarcus Dickerson: The fact that Ramarcus isn't that Ramarcable dooms Dickerson in the end. "Just be Thankful for What You've Got".




Second Round:

1 Vanilla Dong vs. 8 Doris Morris: as if it's not perfectly obvious already, I'm a boy and in situations like this, dick jokes win. No gong for the Dong as Doris has to call it a day.

5 Margharita Pigeon vs. 13 Chief Kickingstallionsims: I knew a Pigeon once, but I ain't ever heard of no Kickingstallionsims' in my neighborhood. Being a well-educated man, I reject the familiar and advance the unknown and presumably misunderstood Chief.

14 Zhaneta Bozo vs. 6 Simpson Rushing: Karma helps the Bozo beat the Simpson Rushing.

7 Solomon HorseChief vs. 2 Thankful Vanderstar: I like to think of myself as having occasional bouts of wisdom, but I'll admit I may regret advancing Thankful instead, but that's what I'm going to do.


Sweet Sixteen:

1 Vanilla Dong vs. 13 Chief Kickingstallionsims: it's starting to look inevitable as we get another tablespoon of Vanilla in the Elite Eight.

14 Zhaneta Bozo vs. 2 Thankful Vanderstar: it's not a big win for the Bozo, but a win nevertheless.

Elite Eight:

1 Vanilla Dong vs. 14 Zhaneta Bozo: Dong becomes my first Number 1 seed in the Final Four.

Next: The Final Four