Bulltron Regional

In case you missed the earlier episodes:
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Bulltron Regional, First Round:

1 Intelligent Infinite Botts vs. 16 Taz Knockum: if it was "Infinite Intelligent" instead of vice versa, we might not have our first 1-16 upset, but it ain't and we do. Goodbye Botts, and hello Rock'em, Sock'em Knockum to the Second Round.

8 Tyson Mao vs. 9 John Bulcock: the apolitical potty humor of the Bulcock.

5 Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee vs. 12 Tekerrion Cuba: they both confuse me, but Michelangelo in a way that makes me pick him (5 part name!), while Tekerrion just makes me wonder what his mother was thinking.

4 Zaire Kitchen vs. 13 Mister Taylor: clever putting someone named after an African country and someone who sounds like he could rule one together. In these situations I go for the strongman: Mister Taylor subjugates Zaire.

3 Gertrude Nipple vs. 14 Windham Rotunda: not all body part names are good, but maternal ones with a lascivious aftertaste generally work for most dirty-minded people. Here it just has to beat the meeting room in downtown Metropolis's nicest convention center. Not much chance of another upset here as Gertrude holds serve.

6 D. Zeke Ezekowitz vs. 11 Remus Stefan: Zeke! You just have to kind of shout that name, with that sort of up-lilt you imagine prospectors in the Old West had when they shouted "Eureka!" Then Ezekowitz reinforces the lyricism. A pretty easy win for ol' D. Zeke.

7 Basil Hero vs. 10 Taiwan Easterling: no real reason here, just capriciously chosen Easterling to advance.

2 Ayo Yayo vs. 15 Lady Comfort: I'm going for the (presumably) little girl named like a race horse. It's Lady Comfort by a couple lengths!


Second Round:

16 Taz Knockum vs. 9 John Bulcock: the plastic robot loses to the wang.

5 Michelangelo X Ball Van Zee vs. 13 Mister Taylor: the real Michelangelo survived the whims of both Medici and Popes (sometimes both at the same time wikipedia), but X Ball Van Zee is sent abroad to "rest" while Taylor takes care of business on the court.

3 Gertrude Nipple vs. 6 D. Zeke Ezekowitz: Zeke!

10 Taiwan Easterling vs. 15 Lady Comfort: no real contest here, so no need for another horse metaphor as the 15 seed advances to the Sweet Sixteen.


Sweet Sixteen:

9 John Bulcock vs. 13 Mister Taylor: Taylor has to buy off the opposition this time, but a porn name like that probably didn't cost too much.

6 D. Zeke Ezekowitz vs. 15 Lady Comfort: I'm a geek, so bad luck to the lady.

Elite Eight:

13 Mister Taylor vs. 6 D. Zeke Ezekowitz: I'm still a geek, and I don't like despots and dictators, so I refer Taylor's case to the UN and put Ezekowitz into the Final Four!

Next:
Dragonwagon Regional
Sithole Regional
Chrotchtangle Regional
The Final Four